Archive for February, 2008

I feel = (happy + sad) * guilt

Last tuesday I went for a 2nd interview. A followup for my previous interview with a big company. Lets name the company as Company C. I thought they wanna interview me again because they wanna ask some technical questions from a technical guy. I was wrong. My friend was right. He already mention to me that 2nd inteview is just a procedure. The fact is, I was accepted working in the company. They offer me a better salary than my current company. A way lot better than my current company. I like the benefits. The first 6 months I will undergo a probation and training period. Afterwards I will get a letter of confirmation and a raise. Could you believe that? I was screaming in my heart when hearing he said that. “Yes!!!” Oh, I forget to tell you. The interviewer is Mr Ho. One of the project manager in the company. I wasnt finish ‘screaming’ Mr. Ho added his statements by saying that i will get the 2 annual bonuses. I scream again “Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!!” He said that I would make a good career with this company. The offer is too good to be true. Well, that was for me lah. For a guy that just have a year experience working in IT field doing PHP and still got a lot to learn. Mr Ho ask me to wait for the company’s offer letter that the HR will pass to me this week. He then congratulated me for successfully pass the interview and finally working with the company.

I felt really happy at that day and untill today my bos talk to me about the coming projects. He said that I would handle a big project. I like big projects, it was like music to my ears. But suddenly I realise that I’m going to leave this company. This company is a good company. No doubt about it. The bos never scold at me. He even guided me all the way through out the whole year. Telling me what to do, what to expect, what i wasn’t suppose to do.  Here, the environment is so great. I really like working here. Infact I love working here at my current company. The staffs are all great. They all gave great cooperation when i need them. We were always making jokes and laughing together. The seniors, they were all brilliants in their jobs. They were so helpful. You could just ask them anything and they would help you as much as they can. Nothing can compare to them. They are just great. This is my first company that I ever step my foot on working in IT fields and still I’m having a great time. There are many ups and downs but that what colours the working environments, our friendships what makes us keep going and working and never give up, fullfilling our responsibilities as software developers. Because we always know that we all have each other to depend on when at rough times.

All of that makes me sad just by thingking that I would leave the company, that I would leave all of that. The reason I’m leaving is solely because money. End of this year, I’m getting married. There were a lot of things need to be taken care of. Things that need money. A lot of it. Sometimes I feel guilty because I am just becoming more and more like a slave to money. What to do? I’m just follows how the world goes around. Because they said ‘Money makes the world goes around’.

 I feel really sad about leaving this company. I haven’t told my bos yet. I don’t know how to say it. I’m actually hate to say “Bos, I got a better offer from other company. Here is my resignation letter for a notice of one month” to him. Many times I put some taughts on getting the words right. It just does not came out right to me and obviously not to my bos…

to be continued

February 21, 2008 at 11:47 am 5 comments


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